It is said that up in the sky, there are black holes that suck the stars in and take away all their light until they disappear.
That was Gino’s dream – to someday see those black holes. Through those big telescopes in cool laboratories.
So Gino did not waste time. He started working for his dream right away.
At school, Gino asked a lot of questions: What is a black hole? How will I see black holes? When will I see black holes?
So Gino got his answers. He learned that to see black holes, he should be an astronomer – someone who studies heavenly bodies like black holes. An astronomer, his teacher said, should know a lot in Math and Science… and a little bit in English just to understand those weird words black hole experts use – lightwaves, brightness, rays, and a lot more.
Excited, Gino read books right away! He also often looked up to the sky dreaming of things he would see someday.
But sometimes, he did his dreaming too carelessly.
When he walks on the sidewalk, he looks up, imagining clouds forming into rockets and spaceships. But he doesn’t notice there is a rock nearby that could make him trip.
When he climbs the bridge stairs, he looks up imagining the sun growing bigger and bigger as if he’s going closer to outer space already. But he doesn’t notice there is a snatcher about to get his wallet.
And at night, as he plays with his friends, he looks up imagining the stars slowly moving as they are sucked by a black hole. But he doesn’t notice there is a ball flying towards him already!
But still, since Gino reads anyway, he became smarter. When he reached Grade 6, he became a Math Wizard. He also knew a lot about planets, moons, and stars. And finally, he already understood a lot of those weird words black hole experts use.
Then graduation day came. Gino was the valedictorian- the best student in class. He was chosen to deliver the speech. Everyone was rejoicing!
But that day, before heading to school, Gino told his parents that he will just deliver special thank you letters to his friends in the baranggay. As he walked, he looked up and dreamed that the clouds are whiter, the sun is brightly shining, and that his black hole is just right there somewhere waiting for him. But just a few little steps, Gino fell into a dark pit. A man hole was left open.
At school,Gino’s friends were there waiting for their star. Gino’s parents were also wondering where their son has been. But Gino did not arrive.
Kids, it is never bad to dream. But please do it carefully.
Gino was looking at the wrong directions. His dream was in his heart, but he kept looking everywhere else.
But look there he is, he is okay after all. He just got that thick, itchy, and smelly goo all over him. Let us just give him time to clean up.
End… No, beginning.
This is a story I tried to make a year ago. Like Gino, we too have our own black holes. Sometimes, it is that something we fervently want which eventually causes us to stumble. Sometimes, it is something we are looking for – like love – which even causes more vacuum in our hearts the more we try to get it in the wrong ways.
Growing up, that was what I did. I tried to get love and attention by performing, being the kindest kid I can ever be, and be just awesome in the outside. But deep inside, little by little, I was losing my self. Slowly, I lost my connection to my soul and lived a life that is actually dead. Anxiety drowned me everyday. I was always afraid. I couldn’t even look at people straight in their eyes because I lied, I was self-righteous, I was so proud, and I was “the conceited one”. That was my goo- thick, itchy, and smelly.
But the most important thing we have to remember is that no matter how thick the goo, no matter how itchy it is, or how smelly you are already, there is always a way and a hope to stand up again and not be ashamed.
The Gino in me found that person who not only rescued me from my fall in the black hole, but even gave his life for me in that fall. His life for my life. What more can top that exchange? I even discovered he was the king of kings doing that for me. That is why I can face people now without much shame anymore. How can I be ashamed if someone died for me? Jesus’ blood will not be wasted.
I would want you to realize how special you are because you are always searched to be saved. Like I was, lost in this ephemeral darkness, my lover did every single way possible to show me the light and reach out to me.
Times will come when we will be so weak. But if that time comes when your eternal lover already gives you that glimpse of light, and he reaches out his hand to you, already give it your all to hold on tight.
Now I can hug my Mama this tight because I did not die.