I believe that we only fail when we stop believing we will win. Like what God always tells us, we are born victorious. God wants us to believe that it is not our sins which are the focus, but how He can save us despite our weaknesses and shortcomings. That although we sin, He will always find a way to reach us and He believes that we can overcome those sins.
Being depressed years back, what mainly became my baggage was the constant nagging of guilt inside my head and the constant aching of my heart because of frustrations, fears, and doubts. Questions like “Am I a leader?”, “Am I a star?”, “Am I worthy?”, “Am I smart?”, or “Am I beautiful?”.
More than anything else, I realized that finally believing is a choice. A choice that when we decide to make, we have to be firm with that choice. It is the “standing firm” part which is usually most difficult. Reflecting now, I understand that during the times when I successfully stood firm on my decisions for God, there were really these seven habits which helped me. I just want to share them with you. Here are the first two:
1) When you doubt you are good, give yourself a chance to still believe you are good. Our past would tell us that because of our sins and our human nature, we are really bad creatures. That we naturally hunger for worldly things and that we thirst for things to fill-up our ego. But what I realized through the years, one can not have a chance to be “good” if he or she doesn’t believe he or she has a chance to be. Yes it is true we all have a selfish tint. But at least have that courage, or that chutzpah, to say to yourself that no one has the right to limit how good we can be. In that journey, even you yourself will doubt your goodness because you know your sins more than anyone else. But always remember that God doesn’t want us to be limited by our sins. He wants us to find that perfectly good person inside of us.
The issue is that most people are quite shy to give their selves a chance to declare over their lives their true identity is being good, not only to your self but more importantly to others and to God.
2) When you are wrong, just admit it to God and to others. There are things we really do wrong. We say things that end up offending others. We do things sometimes only to uphold ourselves. When we find ourselves in this kind of situation, we always have to admit our sins to God.
However, there will be times when it will not be clear if it is particularly you who have offended a certain person or if you really did something wrong. Will you approach the person right away? There are times when you would realize you just tend to be guilty that day but you did not really do anything wrong. But there are times when you really did something wrong yet you were insensitive to notice it.
So what should we do?
What we should do is to always pray first. For example, what I do is I ask for wisdom because I seem not to have the kind of wisdom I need right at the moment. I pray for my heart and the person I think I have offended. To be frank, I do not always end up saying sorry to the person I possibly offended , but I always make it a point to give it all to God when it is all blurry to me.
I repent to God and tell Him I am really confused. So I pray “I am sorry I have offended the person. But I don’t understand it right now. You are Lord over all creations on Earth, whatever I don’t understand, you perfectly understand, so I just lay all these down to you. If I have offended the person, my heart is really for that person, please also help him or her look through the offense… also soften my heart so that I can heal wounds too. I love you God. I will do whatever you will say to make this situation better..“.
So basically, I just let God direct. I choose not to worry about it anymore (yet times would come when I still would but I just fight it by praying again). But sure enough, when I feel it’s indeed the time when I have to say sorry, I really do.
We don’t really have the intelligence to know when that timing is but if we develop the sensitivity to God’s whispers, the wisdom just comes.
So it is really an issue of “do you really have the confidence to believe in God’s whispers?”.
That’s all for today. Have a great day!