Every journey is a story worth telling. Whether it has been worthwhile or not, somehow, by just going form one place to another gives us experience or insight. Walking from your home to school for example might be your regular routine, but each day which might seem monotonous already, is still different from the others. Different weather, different view, different people you meet, a different feel. It’s monotonous because you got used to it, but different because you’ll never get used to it enough to make change stop.
My journey as a Christian can somehow be related to the previously mentioned story. There are some days when you feel that you are already used to the life you have. But what still stands true is I still never get used to it enough that I can stop the surprises coming.
It will be just my 7th year of being a Christian on November. And remembering who I was when I first accepted Christ, I can say Jesus has brought me a long way from the rut.
Most people who know me might have memorized it already- Sheena was a sinner who got depressed but saved. But more than anything, considering each stage of the journey was not as light as it might seem to be right now, what remains exciting to tell is how this story can make other people feel better and then realize that there can never be a day without hope.
But instead of starting from point A, let me start on the now. Let me start from God’s victory over my life. Who am I now because of Jesus?
I am still a servant. But is also now a leader.
I am still frail. But is way stronger.
I am still soft. But is way grittier.
I still frown a lot because of divine discontentment. But I also smile more than ever because of God’s grace and mercy.
Finally, I still cry. But I cry not anymore because of insecurity. I cry now because I hurt my God sometimes.
In other words, Jesus, in all His magnificence can make you live with all your lack and weaknesses because you would feel anyway that these same weaknesses are His tools in making you limitless. And if you know this truth, there should be a reason for each one of us to believe that in very difficult situation where you will find yourself at your ugliest, you will also find yourself at your most beautiful because you have Jesus within you.
My first year in my Master’s program was really NOT the most beautiful experience in worldly terms. I was broke, I had meager social support, I cried, I stumbled, I told all the bad stories in my life, I totally had no grace nor poise. But to Jesus it was still beautiful because I held on to Him tighter than ever.
There were times I would take an exam and I don’t have money to buy supper so I would have some energy while reviewing the night before. But guess what? I am a Christian! I am used to prayer and fasting! So still, at the end of the semester my grade was high.
My stipend was less that half of my monthly salary in my previous job so I really had problems how I would make ends meet. But God still made a way! He gave me some means to earn like being a Graduate Assistant or getting into Direct Selling! It did not mean I was a great GA nor a business woman. But it means that no matter how incompetent I might have been, God still made a way and made the experience beautiful! Because even if there were days with no money at all, I still had the strength to last anyway until the money would come just at the right time. And those gaps were really really really spiritually beneficial.
In other words, during that time, what I only had in mind was how I will be able to get through these things I got myself into to the point that most days have become monotonous somehow. But God did not allow that to remain that way everyday because whether I liked it or not, He still had put some excitement. But had I not known Christ, I would have just focused on the pale, boring color of life. But since I knew Christ was somewhere around me and within me, my eyes still glowed with enthusiasm. Even if what troubled me is how I would just survive for another day but with excellence in mind.
So I guess, in the end, it will still be Jesus Christ who would matter. Not even my knowledge or skills. Only Jesus Christ.
So where has Christianity brought me? Remember Point A: Depressed suicidal teenager with no capacity to go to school.
Where has Christianity brought me? A long long way. All the credit to Jesus.